[Jill could use a hug, but she daren't ask. She's never requested one in her life and she doesn't intend on starting now. Besides, perhaps Tifa isn't the physical affection sort, though something quiet in the back of Jill's mind reminds her of who reached for the other's seemingly filthy hand first.]
Perhaps. I know that the High Priest can no longer hurt anyone else anymore. I made sure of that.
[And so did her rapier.]
It was all I could do. I've come to accept that other things are out of my control. [Jill falls silent for a moment, before speaking in voice cracked with emotion around the edges.] Most of all, I've learned to forgive myself.
But she thinks she can piece together what Jill means, and she can't say that she blames her for it. Which makes her feel just a little worse about the whole thing—she isn't one to wish death upon anyone, even her worst enemies, but what that man had done was truly abhorrent that "thank god" was the first thing she thought upon hearing that.]
I'm glad you could at least do that much...
[Tifa wishes that she could get that far. It's admirable, really...]
[One doesn't have to wish death upon the cruelest of the cruel to accept that sometimes that is the only method to end the madness. Jill wouldn't judge Tifa for thanking the universe that the Imreann is gone any more than Tifa hasn't seemingly judged Jill for making certain of that.
Admirable, sure, but Jill has to disagree with the other woman on what the most difficult of living this sort of life is.]
No, the hardest part is letting go of the fear. [She shakes her head softly as she glances down to her cup.] I told you my story for a point. Not to horrify you or for pity, but for you to understand what I say next.
[Jill pauses, breathing deep to exhale shakily. She somehow has come to trust Tifa already, for some strange reason, but admitting the scars left behind still brings on the nerves.]
I have confessed this to but one person, but I fear being forced to act upon someone else's whims again. And while Clive's story is different yet similar to my own, he also deserves to live a life without that fear. That is why I ask, no, plead to you not to call upon Ifrit in the way you can.
Tifa stares across at her, trying not to look as surprised as she is, but probably failing. It lasts only a moment, however, before her expression softens, and she squeezes Jill's hand gently.]
You have nothing to worry about on that.
[While there is plenty to worry about for sure, Tifa understands, she tries to offer her as reassuring a smile as ever.]
I have no plans on using my summon materia. And I'm going to do whatever I can to keep it safe. I promise.
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Perhaps. I know that the High Priest can no longer hurt anyone else anymore. I made sure of that.
[And so did her rapier.]
It was all I could do. I've come to accept that other things are out of my control. [Jill falls silent for a moment, before speaking in voice cracked with emotion around the edges.] Most of all, I've learned to forgive myself.
no subject
But she thinks she can piece together what Jill means, and she can't say that she blames her for it. Which makes her feel just a little worse about the whole thing—she isn't one to wish death upon anyone, even her worst enemies, but what that man had done was truly abhorrent that "thank god" was the first thing she thought upon hearing that.]
I'm glad you could at least do that much...
[Tifa wishes that she could get that far. It's admirable, really...]
Think that might be the hardest part.
no subject
Admirable, sure, but Jill has to disagree with the other woman on what the most difficult of living this sort of life is.]
No, the hardest part is letting go of the fear. [She shakes her head softly as she glances down to her cup.] I told you my story for a point. Not to horrify you or for pity, but for you to understand what I say next.
[Jill pauses, breathing deep to exhale shakily. She somehow has come to trust Tifa already, for some strange reason, but admitting the scars left behind still brings on the nerves.]
I have confessed this to but one person, but I fear being forced to act upon someone else's whims again. And while Clive's story is different yet similar to my own, he also deserves to live a life without that fear. That is why I ask, no, plead to you not to call upon Ifrit in the way you can.
no subject
Tifa stares across at her, trying not to look as surprised as she is, but probably failing. It lasts only a moment, however, before her expression softens, and she squeezes Jill's hand gently.]
You have nothing to worry about on that.
[While there is plenty to worry about for sure, Tifa understands, she tries to offer her as reassuring a smile as ever.]
I have no plans on using my summon materia. And I'm going to do whatever I can to keep it safe. I promise.